dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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