smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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