I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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