i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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