So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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