Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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