She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
