The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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