Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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