you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
