Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
