ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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