my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
