yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
