oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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