I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
