so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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