Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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