Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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