"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
