STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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