Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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