Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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