i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
