You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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