of course. lets lasso hookers.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
