Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
