K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
