you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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