on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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