Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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