Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
