the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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