you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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