Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
