There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
