I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You can't motorboat a personality
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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