I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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