You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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