Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I met the friendliest cop last night
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
