He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
