so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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