So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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