there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
