WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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