I hate all girls vehemently.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
