I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
