i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
