I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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