Having a random hookup so left but love u
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
