i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
