i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
