when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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