I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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